How are the old woman and her even older man earning the money for their £120,000 rent? Already, these old age pensioners are facing severe deprivations. Princess Pushy and her Prince Michael of Kent have to cope with unfair businessmen and a critical Royal family, not to mention the bloodthirsty media and unfavourable public opinion.
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| Prince and Princess Michael of Kent |
Prince
Michael of Kent had led the royal soldier’s laid back life, but at 41 even that became
too strenuous for him and he quit. The Queen, knowing the Prince for what he
was, tried to foist him off on business by granting him the unique right to go
into business. The Queen’s business sense was astute as ever when she made the
move, but the object of her largesse was too incompetent. Soon though, companies were
queuing up to add the royal name to their letterheads.
These
businesses paid ridiculous sums just to have his name on the list of directors.
Prince Michael of Kent cashed in on his title and his Royal connection; this distinction is usually and unfairly reserved for the Middleton family. At the peak of this career, he earned
around $500,000 without doing any work at all just by renting out his title. For the businessmen it was well
worth the money, being upstarts from the Great Unwashed it added certain
panache to their usual names dropping to include my friend Michael in it.
Being by
nature greedy and none too intelligent, he accepted a series of television
appearances in US TV to market off substandard goods under the name House of Windsor. These
ranged from crockery through trinkets to toilet brushes. Prince Michael's name was
consequently mud and this not only with the Queen. The income from letterheads
dropped drastically down to zero. And like every other failure before him he set
himself up as a consultant. He was an expert on letterheads, so there certainly
was a job opening somewhere. And he was an accomplished TV salesman as well.
But Princess
Pushy was at her wits’ end. Being used to spending lots of money, not earning it, she
started to plagiarize historical novels without great success. That’s when the
Rent-a-Kent business came into being. For £25,000, the Princess would attend any
venue, from opening a villa in Sri Lanka to showing herself at the Formula 1
Grand Prix. Nowadays these appearances are called lectures to make them more
palatable to the untitled that have to work for their money. That Austrian just
sells off her title.
Prince
Michael had his looks worked over to make him look like the late tzar Nicholas II.
This has given him an opening to expand the rental service to Russian
oligarchs. He has come full circle; again he is giving his name to people
having come from the Great Unwashed. Already the Russian connection is bringing
him new troubles. We may expect his counterfeit to appear on vodka bottles any
day now.
In
between all this, Princess Pushy insists on pushing her royal-ness down
everybody’s throat. Having grown up a hairdresser’s daughter in the backstreets
of Sidney, this pushiness sits ill with most people. As to her royal connection
in Central Europe, who doesn’t have them? There were so many kinglets at one time or another;
it would be surprising if one wasn’t related to them as they produced children
like rabbits.
Right
now the poor dears are living in strictest economy. They were seen in Rome
strolling through town. Obviously it was a financial strain to take along the
car and the driver as well. I pity them for having come to such dire straits in
their dotage.
Further reading
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