What a Riot! William and Kate

The movie William & Kate has universally been panned as the worst movie ever. This is faint praise for one of the most miserable productions ever to come out of a studio anywhere in the world. The movie will set standards for decades in bad taste, bad acting, bad screen writing, and generally having no idea of what it is all about. You just have to see it! 

I have seen many bad films of the B-movie type (or rather Z than B); this was the time when I was in school and cinemas would show them on a Monday for a nominal entry fee ideal for permanently broke students. Most of them I forgot, some of them were bad enough to remember, but none was as bad as Kate & William.

The story-line was consistent with what little Joe and Jane might dream up when imagining what Royal life should be like while playing in a sand-pit somewhere in rural Arkansas. It was supplemented with just about every spoof news line ever printed in the papers; and it was rounded off with what an American might imagine upper-class behaviour might be like. It was toe-curlingly funny. The truth-factor of the whole movie, though, was identical to any other American production under the header of ‘based on a true story’.

The cast were just perfect. Their look-alike factor was slightly less than that of a lemur compared to Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Some of the cast were more lemurish than others. And many a lemur I know personally is a better actor than most of the cast. The creators of this spoof must have been thinking Commonwealth in capital letters: Nico Evers-Swindell was born a Kiwi; accordingly, William in the movie speaks with a charming Kiwi accent. For unknown reasons, British born Camilla Luddington manages to upstage him with an Aussie twang. It made everything much more believable.

The location was also most believable. Scotland and London have never been sunnier than in that movie. As the scenes were captured in California, this might not be such a surprise. The settings therefore exude as much veracity as the story per se.

If you are someone who needs a cushion to hide behind during horror movies, keep it handy. You will need it to stifle your maniacal laughter during most of the film. It is so completely off the mark, you’ll be barely able to catch your breath before the next unutterable sentence or unmentionable scene will set you off again. Two people should be forbidden to watch it before the Royal Wedding, though: The original William and Kate. They would still have the giggles after a week, if they ever saw it. For everyone else, it’s a must see: It teaches everything about how not to make a movie; and it is very good for your abs, mine are still hurting from laughing. 

Further reading
Princes With a Gay Warrant
Princes: Not All That Glitters
The Little Prince